Reproductive Freedom is Key for Survivors’ Justice
A Domestic Violence Awareness Month interview with Lisa DeWeese, PPGNY’s Supervisor for Survivor Support Services
Did you know that about 1 in 3 women experience intimate partner physical and sexual abuse, 10 million people experience domestic violence every year in the U.S. and if that doesn’t sound bad enough, about 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner? Domestic and intimate partner violence continue to be a painful and ever present reality for people of all genders, even in a time of growing feminist consciousness and gender liberation advocacy.
While looking at the numbers might help us paint a full picture of the state of interpersonal gender-based violence, for this Domestic Violence Awareness Month we refuse to let victims be reduced to mere numbers. Demoralizing statistics should not be the reason why we humanize or sympathize with survivors of abuse. Instead, we should think of tangible solutions for survivors and how we can best support them when they find themselves in violent almost inescapable situations.
Justice for survivors would never be possible without a reproductive and sexual landscape that considers the intricacies of every person who survives abuse. From being stuck in abusive relationships due to parental rights, to not being able to afford medical care due to lack of health insurance access that is provided through an abusive partner, there are many ways the role of reproductive autonomy heightens when it comes to scaping an abusive relationship. Simply put, a person’s chance of survival narrows when their reproductive rights and freedom decreases.
Often, we look to survivors for solutions to our culture of rape and violence, when we should be looking at the perpetrators of abuse to find the answers we’re looking for — as a society we should ask ourselves why is it that perpetrators resort to abuse in the first place, why is it that time and time again they use fear and violence as a weapon of control, and why is it that it is so difficult for abusers to overpass consent and fully grasp the seriousness of a person’s No when they are communicating that harm is being done.
To give us a better idea of how reproductive health is intractably linked to the lives of survivors, how often these two worlds collide, and how true reproductive freedom won’t be possible without justice for survivors we have put together a conversation with Lisa Deweese, one of PPGNY’s Supervisor for our Survivor Support Services program, where she talks about the intricacies of her everyday work, the highlights of doing this difficult job and what are some of the misconceptions surrounding survivors and perpetrators of abuse.
– Q: What is your role at PPGNY and what does your average day look like?
– A: There is no average day at this job. There are days when I’m working directly with a client, other days when I’m filing paperwork, making hospital visits, or going to meetings with our community partners to go through cases and getting feedback from community members themselves as to what they need most from our program.
In very brief terms, my work as a supervisor for PPGNY’s Survivor Support Services consists of offering support to people when they find themselves in situations that are compromising their survival due to violence or abuse from a partner, family member or someone close to them. Whether that is connecting them with resources right after they leave an abusive setting, such as medicine, food, clothes, or housing or simply being there for them as emotional support and doing the paperwork necessary for them to start the process of healing or removal, that is what a big chunk of what my labor consists of.
– Q: Do you recall any special anecdotes or things you keep in mind while in the field?
–A: When you are a provider of support for survivors of domestic violence or abuse, whether it is an adult or a child, or both parent and child simultaneously, you must be very client-focused and keep what you think is best for yourself. I never go see a client with an agenda, but instead I let them know what their rights are and I tell them of all the options available to them — there are different programs and resources for all kinds of situations, for example there is one program call Single Point of Access (SPOA) that offers support to survivors who have mental health problem, such as addiction, and who are houseless. Making sure they get connected to programs like this one is a big part of what I do with clients.
I once had a case of a mother and four daughters who had to escape a horrible situation in the middle of the night where sexual and physical abuse was happening. Obviously, none of them could go back to that setting and the daughters went to their grandparents’ home. I ended up taking a trip to Walmart that same night so the children could have clothes. These kinds of situations are what my work looks like a lot of the times.
– Q: What drew you to this work and made you want to work with survivors?
– A: I started out in college doing an internship in a very poor community and then I became a family worker. From that it was a very natural transition to work with domestic violence victims and then with survivors of abuse.
But what I think makes me good at my job is that it takes a very specific type of person to do this work, this is not for everybody and certainly not for the paycheck. I feel like this is my calling because not everybody can go to the hospital and see how badly people are hurt and still allow them enough agency to make whatever decision they want. To do this work well you have to support people on their own terms and never make them feel like what they are deciding on is wrong — I feel like most people are naturally drawn to dictate how they want to help others, but that is not the case for me.
When I’m working with a client who has just been assaulted the last thing I need to do is dictate what they should do with their situation — their power has already been taken away from them, and by giving them options and letting them know they do have a way to leave this situation, I can return some of their autonomy and empower them again. To be good at this job, you have to be ok with going against what you think is right and instead honor your clients’ decisions — you have to be ok with them dropping off and maybe coming back to you in six months or even later.
– Q: What is your favorite part about doing support for survivors?
– A: My favorite part is when someone calls me after months and months of not hearing from them and they let me know how much better they are doing. After seeing people at their lowest, it’s amazing when someone calls me at their highest. I once had a client who was a victim of trafficking, and she called me one day out of the blue to let me know she was clean and was enrolled in school. Whenever I get these calls, I never receive it as “wow I did this” but it’s always about the resiliency of the client and how they did it.
Another thing is having an eye for the small wins and celebrating those whenever they come — when a client can step up in court and speak against their perpetrator, or when someone makes the call or seeks help, those are all wins. I never put a label on wins or what success looks like because everyone’s situation is different. The client gets to define what a win looks like for them, and just being part of this healing process is a privilege to me. I feel so honored when I walk into a room and ask a client whether it’s ok for me to stay and they say yes, and then allow me to be part of what could be one of the hardest moments in their lives and I just get to be a piece of their healing puzzle.
–Q: What is your least favorite part?
– A: My least favorite part is never being able to look a client in the eye and tell them I can keep them safe. Even if a survivor has a protection order, or if we give them locks, install security cameras, and create a safety plan, I can never guarantee that a perpetrator would not violate their orders and come after the victim or that the order gets broken, which happens way too often. Sometimes I wish I had more control over how to keep a survivor safe, but unfortunately a lot of the aspects that go into keeping a survivor out of an abusive setting are outside of my grasp.
Another thing is the lack of resources — here in upstate there is a shortage of foster homes when we need to place children outside abusive settings. In those cases, I try to get as many responsible eyes on them as possible, I try to recognize who are the adults in that child’s life, who can keep them safe and who can be a role model or a source of help when and if they need it again. Also making sure a child knows what a healthy relationship looks like and that they can call me in case of emergencies is one of my resources.
– Q: What do you want people to know or remember for this Domestic Violence Awareness Month?
– A: I want better awareness around stereotypes for survivors of abuse. One wrong stereotype that we hear often is that abuse happens to people who are poor or mostly in poor communities, but doing this job has shown me that abuse can happen to anybody at any moment and that abuse has no class.
We often hear the retort “but why doesn’t she just leave” but what people don’t realize is how much it takes for a survivor to leave a situation and the impact it could have on them and their children. Often the perpetrator of the abuse is the main financial source of the household; often they offer health insurance for someone who depends on it, or the perpetrator is the one who takes care of the children when the survivor is at work. There are many factors to consider when a survivor is trying to remove a perpetrator from their lives and one of them is whether they have enough resources to cover the absence of the perpetrator for basic everyday survival.
Something that people don’t know is that the abuse often gets worse when the survivor is close to leaving an abusive setting — around 70% of instances of abuse peak when the survivor is starting the removal process. At this point the perpetrator has nothing to lose so they react in a way that doesn’t align with their values and that harms the people they love. This is when we need to do less victim-blaming and instead turn around and ask what has led the perpetrator to engage in violence in the first place and why is it that they are resorting to abusing their power? I think we can start with better mental health resources and education for adults around what healthy relationships look like. But also having open discussions on the importance of consent and what it looks like to set boundaries is a great solution.
Survivor Support Services counselors are here to help 24 hours a day, 7 days per week. If you or someone you know is struggling with domestic violence, call 1–866–307–4086 or contact us at SurvivorSupport@ppgreaterny.org
